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 What every
biker has
in common with Brad Pitt
From the small office in the back corner,
near the water cooler
July 24th, 2007
It’s not often that Clutch
and Chrome has the opportunity to share common interests
with world of gossip, stars and glamorous Hollywood. So far
the closest has been actor
Erik Estrada (of the
eighties TV show CHiP fame) admitting he’s never had a
motorcycle license. Hardly A-List and certainly not gossip
fodder.
A trip to the grocery store
this morning ended all that when this writer’s eyes were
drawn to the ‘Entertainment’ magazine section located in the
check-out aisle. You know, one side is gum and chocolate and
on the other, racks holding the hard-hitting magazines
carrying the latest blurry pictures of celebrities who look
bad in a bikini or even more scandalous, dare to have
cellulite.
 But
it wasn’t the catfight between Hillary and Nicole that
caught my attention. Nor was it Rachael Ray denying the
rumors of her divorce. No, as scintillating as those two
stories are (and thank heaven I had no clue neither of these
stories were going on, otherwise I just wouldn’t have been
able to sleep) it was
In Touch Magazine’s
exclusive and obviously lead story; ‘Brad breaks free of
Angelina-After weeks of unhappiness, a frustrated
Brad speeds away on his motorcycle leaving Angie and the
kids behind. How long can they last?’
How long indeed.
There were many levels in
which the cover story registered in the old cobwebbed brain
of mine, lets walk through why this story should appear on
this, a website about motorcycles.
The general image of a
motorcycle isn't necessarily what it looks like, but the
freedom it brings. Actually, it’s more than an image,
being almost an ingrained promise that’s formed as soon as
the combination of two wheels, engine and an open road are
brought together. When someone sits in the saddle, whether a
seasoned rider or wannabe biker a sense of freedom in all
it's potential and magnitude the mind can conjure is
imagined.
So it’s no surprise then, if a
person were to make their escape from an unwanted situation
a motorcycle is the perfect vehicle, both poetically as well
as spiritually.
But it was a non-riding
puzzlement that had me intrigued about Brad Pitt’s emotional
‘Great Escape’. Angelina Jolie is easily the most universal
sex symbol of our age. History will rank her higher in the
sexiest people of all time over Marilyn Monroe, Britney
Spears or dare I write it, Charlize Theron.
Why is she?
 For
all of Angelina’s bizarre behavior and multitude of
tattoo’s, she is the most desired woman in the world across
the largest demographics, by both men and women. Not many
stars or sex symbols could afford an ongoing fight with a
father as popular as Jon Voight, French kiss their brother
at the Academy Awards, marry Billy Bob Thorton (wearing his
blood around the neck), openly discuss bisexuality as well
as her affection for knife-play and hope of such universal
appeal, but Angelina has.
Maybe it is the very strength,
confidence and resolve in everything she undertakes that
draws people to her. Then again it could just be those
amazing lips set off by incredible eyes atop a very sexy
body.
Definitely the latter.
So why would Brad Pitt want to
leave this universally desired woman?
 The question rings with the
familiarity of a question often asked of bikers themselves.
Knowing how dangerous it is to ride motorcycles on today’s
roads, why would otherwise cautious, smart people do it?
Indeed it was just reported today that highway fatalities
have dropped in every category except motorcycles.
The pat answer has always
been, ‘If you have to ask why, then you just wouldn’t
understand.’ After all, how can you convey the feelings
felt when you look at something beautiful such as a sunset or painting
to someone who can't see. How can the exhilaration be explained to someone
who has never experienced it? Smelling the trees around the
next corner before you see them, a subtle temperature change
when the road dips into a valley, all these are nearly
impossible to completely convey to a non-rider.
So if we were to ask Brad the
question again, this time with the understanding of our own
frustration from ridiculous inquiries we might appreciate
his answer of, ‘If you have to ask why, then you just
wouldn’t understand.’
Let’s
be real, he is frickin’ Brad Pitt! The guy has won
sexiest man alive more times than I’ve had a bug splatter on
my face. He was married to the girl next door that every
breathing man wanted to live next door too, Jennifer
Anniston. If you have the cajones or luxury to break up with
her regardless of what’s waiting, the rest of us should just
bow and assume whatever Brad does is obviously right. A god
among men who’s had intimate knowledge of two of the sexiest
women around.
 What about the story itself?
Firstly, no one ‘speeds off’
on a motorcycle to get away from any kind of trouble. Sure
it's a romantic image played out in books, movies and on TV
when the good girl runs off with the bad-biker, or the
troubled soul hits the road in search of answers. But
packing for any kind of trip, getting geared up and simply
riding away is done much easier in car. Throw what you need
in a bag, say you’re going to store for bread and no-one is
the wiser. Not so easily done with a motorcycle.
Written
by a non-rider, or simply for sensationalism, the story
makes a big deal of riding (or ‘drove’ as the writer puts
it) 175 miles for dinner with friends. Reading past the side
boxes and headlines, the trip was actually made for dinner
and some time in Berlin, a trip any avid biker would make in
a heartbeat. In Touch claims Brad Pitt is taking longer
rides more frequently because 'he
 needs to think through his
problems', most riders would say he’s actually finding time
to get out for some decent trips. We are talking about a Ducati here, the bike that surely inspires just one more
corner.
The whole article won’t be
re-reported here or dissected since I certainly know less
about Angelina and Brad’s relationship than any of the
people quoted in the article, and we’re sure In Touch would
really like you to buy this issue.
However,
it is interesting to see that Brad prefers
KBC helmets and believes in
body armor, well most of the time.
Call it jealousy, but we were
all upset to see that Brad Pitt obviously doesn’t suffer
from helmet hair, looking ready for the red carpet right
after getting off his bike.
I guess there are reasons he
keeps winning that damned sexiest man in the universe thing.
The Editor
Because we know most of our readers love beautiful women as
much as motorcycles, all of the pictures can be enlarged for
larger 'more complete' versions.
Some
pictures reproduced with the permission of In Touch magazine
and are copyrighted accordingly. |
